.im the supergirl.

Tuesday, 6 May 2008

malevolent

maybe im just pure evil, you may even call me the devil. but, i really wish my mum would die/leave soon. i dont hate her, dont get me wrong.. but its really better off for everyone in the family.

let me just explain.

my fav cat just died. was silently tearing over the computer and sniffing occassionally. and guess what?

my mum walked behind me and commented on my hair.
"why you cut your hair! like never cut.. somemore cut until like that, so untidy.. how much is it? $12, why you waste money?! its so messy, before you cut even better."

and so i said,"why must you say until like that? my fav cat just died and im sad, and you just have to say until like that.. cut also cut le, what can i do? right?"

and then after awhile, it triggered to her saying,"hmph! its only a stupid cat! i see you like that cry over one cat, i was thinking, when i die, you wont even be as sad towards you own mother! i think only ah, dont wanna say only.."

i cant think of anyone who wouldnt be heartbroken when they hear this. have you been so heartbroken you thought you were gonna die? i have, yes many times before. ive tried many times, and i really am giving up this time. so glad i wasnt able to get into ntu, cos now i have the chance to work for half a year more before i get to move out.

its a hint to seriously give up when many times youve tried, and the other party just doesnt wanna put in any effort. i dont wanna tire myself like that anymore. and telling people doesnt actually help, cos theyve not been here for the past 22 years.

she said that friends will never be always there for you. i replied,"i know, cos when i tried to commit suicide during my depression, none of my friends were there for me. this i know. but it doesnt mean that i dont go out with them just cos of this reason."

and then she continues to blabber about my sister, and i hate it when people are against my sis. dont use me as a topic, and be prepared when i bombard you with facts which you never bothered to sort out.

baby always says life sucks. i actually think its the people in it. =)
by the way, he thinks that im dumb crying over the cat as well, but at least he listens to why i felt so sad.
i also know that one day, he might have to leave me in one way or another, but at least, hes willing to be dumb together with me, as well as always patiently listening to what i have to say. thanks my dear.

you can try,
and i can cry.
but you can never stop me from standing up and walking once again.
because of what you made me to be.
because im a survivor.

__________________________________
your supergirl.
-10:54:00 pm-